This Was His Choice
by AnnMarie94
Summary: As Harry is walking towards the Forbidden Forest and to his end he contemplates everything he has and everything he is about ready to give up. He struggles with the knowledge that sometimes in order to protect the ones you love you have to make tough choices.


**Well, I'm back. So sorry for taking down my stories, but I seemed to be having a rough go at it lately and just felt it was a good idea to take my stories down. It's amazing how much I've missed it though, and I began to realize that doing this made me happy, so why shouldn't I do it? I hope you all enjoy it, and for all my past supporters, I thank you all so much. You guys are terrific. **

**Hope you enjoy :)**

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As Harry stepped beyond the threshold of the front doors of Hogwarts, the cool night air seemed to be burning his seemingly supple skin.

A sense of longing that he had never felt before filled within him in that moment, nearly bowling him over with the greatness of it. He forced himself to keep his eyes straightforward; he would not look back.

How many times had he stood in this very spot, had gone through these very doors that seemed to welcome him home? How could he have seemed to have taken for granted everything that Hogwarts had given to him? How could he have overlooked the beauty that seemed to radiate from around it, even now, in the face of such turmoil as it nearly collapsed within itself?

He had never before realized just how beautiful it had been.

With each step that he took that lead him away from the security it could no longer offer him, Harry felt within him a great desire to run; to go back to the past and pretend that none of this had been real; that it had all been just some long and crazy mixed up dream.

He saw Ginny, with her long, beautiful, fiery red hair blowing gently in the breeze sitting just a little ways off, talking with a younger student and trying to offer what comfort she could, given the fact that their whole world was being ripped away from them in front of their very eyes.

He wanted to run at Ginny, to take her in his arms and to never let her go. He wanted to hold onto her forever and that would be enough.

He wanted someone to stop him, to say that he had done more than enough and send him back on his way... back to his home.

But how could he go home when home lay just behind him? Hogwarts had been the only place that he had only ever considered home; the best home he had ever known. His small crippled home back in Godric's Hollow held no sort of memories for him that he could ever hope to remember. It held only bitter sadness and the long forgotten hope for a family of his very own.

Hogwarts had been the only place to welcome him home. And the knowledge that he was leaving it behind forever sent a great shiver down his spine, but his loved ones back inside were the ones that gave him the strength to do what he must.

In that moment he knew he would have given anything for just a small glimpse of them, to tell them that he loved him, and to thank them for everything that they had done for him, for everything that they had been to him.

But he knew in his heart that it was better like this.

There would be no goodbyes, he had decided that already. It would be much too painful, and this needed to be done. He couldn't afford to waste anymore time. It was for the best.

He neared the Forbidden Forest and out of the corner of his eye he spotted Hagrid's Hut and a lone light shone in the darkness from within the hut.

A small smile seemed to be trapped inside, but he allowed himself the happy memories, reminding him of everything he had once had and everything he was about ready to give up.

There would be more happy memories for them to make together once he had done what he needed to do. Let them share their happy lives together; let them form a whole new world in a better place.

The darkness seemed to loom around him, mocking him, seeming to try and scare him away, but he did what he had always done; he held his head high and faced the trouble that lied before him.

How many times when he had been younger had he dreamed of growing up and getting away from the Dursleys'; to grow up and do whatever he wanted to do all because of the fact that he was old enough to make his own decisions? How many times had he wished that he was an adult and make a new life for himself and try and forget his horrible childhood, being locked away?

He had never gotten the chance to have a real childhood and the realization that he wasn't even going to get a chance to start his life struck him hard, nearly making him sway upon his lightweight feet.

He was doing this for them, so that they might have a chance to make a new life for themselves in a far happier and safer world than in which he had lived. He would have given anything to somehow turn back the time and stay a kid forever; to have the adults make all the decisions for him.

He wanted someone to tell him how foolish he was being, how dangerous it was, and to send him back. But they couldn't, because whether or not he liked the idea he _was_ an adult now. Being an adult meant having to make tough decisions, didn't it?

Hadn't his parents done the same exact thing when he had been a baby? Hadn't they made the decision to give their lives so that he might have a chance to live and grow up and to make a life for himself?

Didn't Sirius make that decision when he had chosen to rescue Harry after he had so foolishly wandered into the Ministry of Magic just a few years ago?

Didn't Remus make that decision when he chose to fight alongside him even with the knowledge that he had a small child at home whom he knew he might be leaving behind forever?

Had they at all cared about what they were throwing away?

But Harry could understand now.

He was doing what his parents and Sirius had done for him, and what Remus had done for his small son. He was giving it all up to enable everyone else back at the castle, and all the ones who were too small to understand anything at the moment a chance to lead a happier life.

Ron and Hermione and all the rest of his loved ones couldn't ever hope to understand, but that was alright. He was doing what needed to be done in order to keep them safe, and that was enough. They didn't need to understand. They would be upset of course, he realized that, and hurt and more than likely angry, but in the end he hoped they would understand.

But it really didn't matter, because in the end it hadn't been their choice to make; it had been his. He had journeyed far and wide through the years and after searching for so many years he had finally found what he had been looking for. They had given him everything he could have ever dreamed of... they all had.

He forced back the memories as he drew closer to Voldemort and instead brought their loving faces to mind and focused hard on that. It had given him the strength to realize that this was the right choice.

He was the adult now, he thought as he saw but did not hear the curse and saw the bright green light hurtling towards him.

He was the adult now... and this was his choice.

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**It's so nice to be back :)**


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